you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
