P.S. I can't hear my feet
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
