Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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