You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
