i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He had one of those small greek statue penises
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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