You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
