all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Four minutes until I can fart!
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
