That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
did you just send me my own nude
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Why is there bacon in the couch?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
