But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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