I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
