So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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