if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
