I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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