I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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