why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
