i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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