I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
