Redeem this text for a blowjob
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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