so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
my poor anus
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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