we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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