i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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