'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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