I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
