I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Randomize
