I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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