You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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