I cockslap morals
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
