The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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