Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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