some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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