It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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