I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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