Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
