what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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