Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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