i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
