smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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