Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
