one two three fourrrrnication!
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
