i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
