did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
