New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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