doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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