Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Apparently you make a good broom.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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