I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
