It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
It's just like the Real World with babies
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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