we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
