It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
