She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
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