girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize
