i wish my penis had a tongue
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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