Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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