that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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