ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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