Banned from zoo.
Again?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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