Christians are straight up FREAKS
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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