we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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