one might say we're banned from that church
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
i've created a new STD.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
If I die, sorry about rent.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
